Internal vs External conflict

How do you not let external circumstances effect your inner being? Especially when those you love are suffering? I understand that by feeling their suffering you are adding fuel to the fire. You are feeding their own suffering.

There is a part in the Mahabharata where Arjuna is about to launch a war that will devastate the world. Uncles, cousins, friends, teachers, old men, boys will all be killed. He hesitates and talks to Krishna of his dilemma, of his doubt. Krishna reassures him to proceed with what he has started. Arjuna asks whether the true battle is within himself or on the plains he is overlooking. Krishna replies something like there is no real difference. The battles within are not different to the battles without.

That doesn’t help much! I guess my inner peace was not deep enough for it is easily shattered with the slightest difficulty, or with the slightest indication of whats going on in the physical dimension. I feel impotent. Inside and out.

They say focus on your blessings. And I am truly blessed. My health. My house. My job. the money in my bank. My car. My wife. My mother. All the teachers who have taught me.

I give up. I just want to sleep and never have to deal with these issues. Everywhere I go I can’t escape. I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to be free.

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